goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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