YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
