sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just found puke in my bra..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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