i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
