why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
