okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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