how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize