Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We talked him into tasing himself.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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