Where is the hickey?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
