I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
