So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
