Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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