im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
being pregnant is like rehab
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
