U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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