But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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