I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
