I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you will always have a special place in my vag
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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