Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
