i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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