Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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