Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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