I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize