What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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