No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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