well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize