Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
