Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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