I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
