Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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