these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
