Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
as a side note pls kill me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
