Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
