Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
