So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
