question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
