he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
