yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
