So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
