she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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