How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
