ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
