1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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