as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
