Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we're making bets on your personal life
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
