I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
