She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize