I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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