my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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