the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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