i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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