I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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