Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize