love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
