i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he thought i was a dude.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
