I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
