I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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