Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize