Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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