he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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