Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize