The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
