God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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