there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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