I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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