Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
