Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
