u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
