ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
