I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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