Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize