pop tarts are not kleenex
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
