Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
