you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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