That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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