Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
