I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
whose ass print is on the piano?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
