When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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