So drunk its hurt
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
