Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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