Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i drank out of a bidet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize