We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it penis luge time yet?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
