I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
