how can u be prego again
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
