it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
